Are you a Bad Boss?

So you think you are a great Leader do you? What if you are not really, what if you are portraying the first signs of bully leadership - what can you do about it?

Bad Leaders are made, not born. I believe that everyone has the capacity in them to be an amazing Leader both of themselves and of others. Sadly in today’s competitive world, in a climate of fear we are seeing the return of the corporate bully. It starts with you. It is down to you and it will be because of you that the people you lead succeed or fail.

First step is to improve your self-awareness. It is no good blaming others or pretending you don’t know what you are doing or the effect it has. Stop and think about who you really are. What are your strengths and what are your gaps? What stresses you? What are your triggers? What are you afraid of? Where did this come from? What makes you angry and where did this come from? Know how you are feeling and why? Don’t let the past control you.

Second step is to improve your self-management. You may have intense responses to the triggers but do not let yourself down by responding unprofessionally. Stay calm. Take time before you respond. Read the poem ‘If‘ by Rudyard Kipling and take note of it all. Don’t shout, don’t raise your voice and don’t say or do anything you will regret later. Don’t lie to yourself or others. Listen to feedback; hear what someone else is really saying. Exercise to clear yourself of the anger and fear which is driving you.

Third step is to build your awareness of others. Notice all the cues. See, hear and notice the effect your behaviour is having on them. See the change in expression, a change of body language, posture, eye contact. Don’t ignore what you are seeing before you. Ask questions, take an interest in someone. Find out about them, put yourself in their shoes. The person who is causing you the most issues is there for a reason. They are there to teach you something about you – what is that? Build rapport with them.

Fourth step is to build strong relationships with all the key people in your business. Build the trust, have open debate, talk about what really needs to be talked about. What are you not saying that if said would make the difference? Have ‘clean and clear’ conversations. Build your influence; make a positive impact on everyone you meet in your life because the legacy you leave will stay forever. Make sure it’s a positive one.

So in summary;

• Do take responsibility for your behaviours and your actions
• Don’t blame anyone else. Don’t make them wrong and you right
• Talk about the real issues. Don’t avoid the elephants! Don’t have half a conversation
• Don’t manipulate for your own justification,self-belief and confidence
• Stop being controlling. Stay calm inside and ask open questions instead
• Stop using the ‘must’ ‘have to’ ‘should do’- Empower and coach someone to make their own decisions as they will grow and learn quicker
• Stop deleting, distorting and generalising the facts of a situation. Instead be honest. Replay what exactly happened not what you made of it
• Don’t take the credit for what someone else has done. Be brave and recognise them
• Don’t call, email them at all times of the weekend, night or when they are on holiday. Give them space to recover and reenergise
• Don’t belittle, dis-empower and ‘bully’ anyone
• … and if you still know deep inside that you have the potential to be a bad leader then get some professional help before it’s too late and you have destroyed the spirit of your team, your organisation and personal careers

Take personal responsibility now and make 2012 the year you focus on ‘how’ to lead.

What is your Vision of Success?

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First Impressions Matter

You could lose your next sale before you have even uttered a word!

90% of people have formed an opinion about you in under 60 seconds.

They think they know you:

• Your age
• Your experience
• Your knowledge
• Your level of intelligence
• ….. and they are assessing if they trust and respect you

You cannot stop it; we are programmed to check people out.

So successful people stop and think about the impression they want to make. Take people like:

• Richard Branson
• David Cameron
• Barack Obama
• Boris Johnson
• Ghandi

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

All different characters, in different cultures, with a different impact - it’s not an accident – their impact is planned. A sales person should stop and think carefully about the impression they want to make. Think of words you would want to say about you. For example:

"He’s professional, approachable, dynamic and I trust him. He will be honest with me."

"She’s bright, experienced, focused and I respect her knowledge and trust her judgement."   

First impressions can be broken down into 4 core areas.

Your

Ø Appearance - How you look.

Ø Voice  -  How you speak

Ø Content – What you say? How you listen?

Ø Connection  -  How you connect with your ‘customer’

Never, ever underestimate the power of your first impression. When you find your innate style, the one that fits you and your values, you will be amazing. You will connect with 80 – 95% of people.

When you meet someone for the first time, the human senses are heightened. The visual sense takes over and looks intently at everything it can see - height, size, clothes, expressions, eye contact, and movement. Everything that someone sees as they look at you delivers a message about you. From your hairstyle down to the tips of your shoes - your pen, your pad, your telephone, they all carry a message. The way you walk, your handshake, your posture, your expressions and the way you use your hands, all tell someone else about you. Are you sending out the right messages for you?

The auditory sense listens for the sound of the voice, the volume, the speed, the tonality and use of the pause.  All the information is being processed in milli seconds and the kinaesthetic part of the brain is coming up with its answers about how it feels, about what it is seeing and hearing.

All that information is taken deep inside the unconscious mind and is evaluated against our values, our experiences.

So it is a difficult process and you are not going to influence and connect with everyone. But there is a huge amount you can do to improve your personal Impact and ensure you are projecting a better First Impression.

Simple Actions you can take now:

1.         Reassess your business wardrobe

• Invest in clothes that ‘say’ what you want to ‘say’ and create the right First Impression
• Hire an experienced and qualified Image Coach
• Clothes are an expression of who you are

2.         Improve your Voice

• Hire a Voice Coach if you know you need one - 80% of people do not like their voice.
• Practice your spoken message
• Strengthen and deepen your voice
• Use the pause for maximum effect
• Emphasise key words
• Your voice is your greatest tool

3.        Improve your Body Language

• Smile – it costs nothing, but means everything
• Breathe deeply to calm nerves
• Eye contact – don’t stare people out but pace their eye contact.
• Match Body Language energy with your customer

4.  Learn to connect on a Social Level

• Ask some open questions
• Get to know the person you are meeting
• Find a common interest
• Take Time to connect on a deeper level
• Find out their values

5.   Listen carefully and remember what they say

• Make notes after if you have to
• Listen for their values, trust, honesty, integrity, fun?
• Listen for their vision of success 

…. and remember it takes just 60 seconds to make or break that first impression – make sure you get it right!

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Your first Impressions

Did you see the photo last week of Willie Walsh (BA) and Michael O'Leary(RyanAir) - one looked very smart, very professional, on the ball, focussed and alert whilst the other looked crumpled, tired, down trodden,resigned and a failure.

It was a serious issue, serious meeting at the Stock Exchange against the government and yet one looked prepared and one certainly did not.

90% of people form an opinion about you in the first 60 seconds.They judge how you look,how you speak, how you act and form opinions based on that information.You cannot stop it happening,it is part of human behaviour. All you can do is manage the message you are sending out.

Start by stopping and thinking about what is your brand,what do you want people to think about you? Professional, trustworthy, credible, dynamic, edgy? What are the five key words to describe you and your business?

People can fail to connect on many levels and often fail an interview before they have even uttered a word.So what more can you do about your first impression?

Start with your wardrobe - how do you look? Do your clothes match the words you described your self as?Are you sure? Ask for feedback.Invest in a professional wardrobe that accuratley represents you.Invest in an Impact Coach

Improve your delivery - develop your breathing.Your voice is your greatest tool.Deep breathing is essential to a great voice.Practice, record yourself speaking.Get your elevator pitch perfect.Pause,think ,listen to what is being said and never interrrupt.Invest in avoice Coach.

Body Language is essential.Lowering your breathing calms your body language down.Your body language should align with the words you are speaking for people to believe you.Posture,deportment and alignment is vital.

Listening to the other person is critical.Connect on every level you can to build the rapport because you may never get another chance if  you don't.

As an experienced Impact Coach in Global Multinationals I know it is always the person who thinks,prepares and demonstrates integrally who they are who is the most successfull.

You are the deliverer of your message - make sure it's congruent with who you really are to be successfull

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Stress in the City

Stress - it's always been there and I think it always will be there.

We need a certain amount of stress to function well because our brain and our bodies have the 'fight or flight' response - we just need to know how to use it.

The problem with a lot of people in senior management is that they think they are invincible. They think their IQ is enough. They think EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is 'soft and fluffy stuff'.
However, it has been proven that what makes success is 66.66% EQ and 33.33% IQ - proving that we need both to be successful and healthy.

EQ starts with fully knowing and understanding yourself - self awareness is vital. If you know yourself - your strengths - your triggers - your stressers - your gaps - your vision AND your emotional responses - only then can you manage yourself and lead others to success.

In my experience, senior leaders try to be great at everything. They won't admit to feeling vulnerable and feeling the fear - they think it's a sign of weakness - when actually, I believe, it's a sign of strength. They often don't delegate well and therefore, don't spend enough time with the people that can help them - their team, because they think they should be able to operate effectively alone.

It can be very lonely being THE one in charge.

So what are the signs? The fears and concerns mount, self-management is poor, their behaviour becomes erratic, communication may fail, they may go quiet and they may become more controlling at work and at home!

So what can we do?

We can take the time, we can be brave and we can be courageous - and ask them - what we can do to support them. Organisations can provide coaching support for every senior leader, so they can share their needs with a qualified coach.

What can the leader do?

Learn to self-manage, know when you need support, be prepared to ask for the support - and - take time off to renew your energies!

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Celebrating Success

The Launch of ‘Tranforming Teams’ (#TTeams) was amazing last night. I just loved every second – it was a real celebration.

It was awesome to see so many people from different organisations connecting, sharing and learning together.

The mix of public sector with the multi nationals – seeing people there from the media, marketing, legal, accountancy and recruitment was amazing and proved that we can always learn and at some level we all have a lot in common.

The themes united the group, they found that many shared the same issues, they heard about the differences in their leadership styles and businesses.

By being open to listen to others who are ‘different’ and from different backgrounds we can learn so much – and make an even bigger difference – when did you last do that?

My VIP speakers were inspiring, everyone listened to their ‘journey’s’ of development to where they are now. I couldn’t help remembering when I first met them and worked with them – how different they are today. How they are bringing the leadership personality alive to make a difference in the bigger, wider world. I thought back to some of the challenging moments we had together and how they took those challenges and did something with them.

A huge thank you to my VIP speakers – I can tell everyone how they ‘should’ lead better – you told it in an authentic way – as living proof ‘that this stuff really works’!

The evening had a great buzz – everyone learned something which they can use today to be an even better leader. Transforming Teams will help them – it is a guide for your career.

One exercise we did was to ask everyone to think about one of their greatest mentors/leaders they have ever had – who was yours? Who made the biggest difference to you? What did you learn from them? And once they had shared that with the table – we asked them - what do you want your leadership legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?

Start now or you may have your ladder against the wrong wall – painting the wrong window.

Now do this with your top team – go on be courageous.

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Transforming Teams – How do you do that?

How to work together to ensure success – spend quality time together.

Build the Trust

Teams who don’t trust their leader will never succeed.

Teams who don’t trust each other will never succeed.

So what breaks trust?

§  Leaders who say one thing and do another

§  Leaders who gossip about their team to their team

§  Leaders who ‘set’ team member up against each other

§  Leaders who don’t give feed-back

§  Leaders who don’t give feed-forward

§  Leaders who don’t mentor or coach

§  Leaders who don’t acknowledge strengths

§  Leaders who don’t take responsibility

§  Leaders who don’t celebrate success

§  Leaders who don’t allow people to say what they need to say

§  Leaders who don’t encourage open debate

§  Leaders who don’t listen

§  Leaders who don’t include their team decisions

It’s the same in every relationship – we need to talk about ‘things’ that matter, talk about concerns, our fears, our workers.  We need to know and understand one another’s strengths, the support we need, talk about our challenges and share ideas.

There is no trust if there is no conflict management and there is no conflict management without trust.  People will not open up, share issues and concerns or challenge each other if there is no trust.

So the first thing to establish in your team/organisation’s relationship is trust.

How do you do that?

§  Share about yourself – be open

§  Laugh about yourself

§  Be interested in others

§  Take the time to get to know ‘who’ people really are and what motivates them

§  Take the time to get to know each other

§  Socialise and have fun as a team

§  Be a part of the team

§  Create a 'Shared Vision'

§  Focus

§  Bring the spirit of the team alive

§  Motivate and inspire

§  Include them – you can do this with your families too!!!

Everyone has to have the conversation – say what they need to say to the right person in the right way to understand.

Seek to understand.

 

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So David Cameron says Leadership is important...

I say it’s not just important it is absolutely vital to our survival. It is the only thing that will turn our country around… and the global economies.

I was also struck with the amazing self-leadership shown on the UK Pride of Britain awards last night. Amazing true examples of ordinary people doing the extraordinary. So how do they do that? What makes them different?

Well what we know (if we really listen to what they are saying) is that they never ever give up. They are determined, they accept what they cannot change (losing legs/blindness etc) and they focus on what they can do.

Take your life/career now and apply these 2 different sets of questions:

A              What are the problems/issues you have?

                What is wrong with your life/career right now?

                How long has it been this way?

                Whose fault is it/who is to blame?

B              What do you want?

                What is your vision of success?

                What resources do you have now to help you?

                What 5 actions are you going to take now?

Great self leaders don’t stay stuck in a problem, they don’t blame others and dwell on all the problems with society etc. They do something about it, they take action and they never give up.

Self-leadership is about you and it will be because of you, you succeed or fail.

So decide now and do something about changing what you want to change in your life/career today.

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